my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
