I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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