If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
