We're facebook friends in real life
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
