Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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