My room smells like vodka and shame
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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