party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
