What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
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Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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