I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
