There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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