Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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