I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
