Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize