I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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