Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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