when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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