Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
