i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
