I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
