after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
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He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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