he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
