'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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