I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Two words: blizzard sex
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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