Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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