did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
