I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
