She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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