I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
