Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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