So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
