this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
