Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize