Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just want nice things and good sex
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
