They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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