i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
