Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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