If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize