Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
