so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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