Please, let me fuck your mom
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I understand Curling. That high.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
