How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize