Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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