I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize