I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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