No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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