When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
