69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize