I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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