Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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