Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
