he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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