...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
