Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
