you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
