there was a trapeze. enough said
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
