Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
