Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
