So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
