Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
