when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
