Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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