Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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