could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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