Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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